Latest vintage find - dog lovers calender.

So it is two thirds of the way through January and up and down the land people have taken down last years calender, removed last years diary from it's hiding place and have replaced them with shiny new ones, full of blank pages that promise to be filled with treats, visits, outings, holidays and parties. Maybe some of those things are pencilled in already and others are in the process of being arranged. A brand new year to fill however you see fit. Exciting!

I do have a new diary and calender which I am gradually filling. But I also have this:


'Looking around'
'Phew! I am so glad that they finally opened that zip.
It smelt of unwashed PE kit in there. It is not very classy.
And I am scared of the dark.'

Yep, it is a dog lovers calender from 1960. I totally love it. I found it in a charity shop in a bundle of tatty papers and odd pages fallen out of books. It was next to a rag rug making booklet so I rescued them both and took them home. The calender is up next to my desk where I write, sew, plan, daydream. These dogs can keep me company. This is what they are thinking about.

'Rex'
'It is all very well you stopping for a pint in the pub
after our hard day of walking.
What about mine?
Water?
Would you be satisfied with water after the day we
have had?
Give me ale.'

'Please'
'Ok, right, ready, do it now.
One, two, three - sad eyes.
That nearly got her, again, again, sadder.'
'This is as sad as I can do Bert'.
'Well you won't be getting any of my biscuits George'.

 'Tail wagger'
'Ha, got you sucker!
What do they say? Curiosity killed the cat.
I knew you would look in that basket.
Not so smug now are you?
If I keep my paws here you will never get out.
As long as I wag my tail they will never suspect me.'

'Two old faithfuls'
'How did we get this reputation Betsy? It is doing
nothing for our street cred.'
But surely Mabel, it is better that they don't know
about our little hook ups?'
'Little hook ups? Speak for yourself.
I've had the stud of the street don't you know!'

'Look out'
'Right lads, who is going first?'
'You go Boris.'
'Yes, well, I would but I need to style my moustache.'
'You go Fred.'
'Well, um, well, turns out I'm a little afraid of heights, I
can't look down.'
'You go Timothy'
'Right, I'm off. That rabbit is mine you bunch of losers'.

'Miss 1960'
'Darling, you look simply divine, what a marvellous do.'
'It is a beehive, quite the latest thing so Richard told me.'
'Oh, so you went to Richard, what a delight. I must
book in soon.'
'Yes, he said he wished all hair was like mine and that not
all girls can carry off this look. So I don't suppose there
is much point in you going.'

'Rover'
'Sausages. Smell that lovely sausagey smell.
Yum, yum, yum.
I know I can will them off that table.
Sausage, sausage, sausagey sausage.
Oops, a bit of drool.'

 'Trusty'
'Look right, I am all relaxed. The sun is shining, the step
is warm, the kids are inside, no one is patting, pulling
or poking me, no one is calling my name or trying to get
me to do something undignified for a tiny bit of cheese.
So I stick my tongue out when I am sleepy. So sue me.
No need to laugh.'

'The Judge'
'I hear what you say, I hear what you say. After careful
consideration of the facts, looking into the case in detail,
hearing from witnesses and examining the evidence put
before me, I must conclude that you, Judy, did steal
Maggie's ball and buried it, hoping she would forget about it.
 By the law of the backyard I sentence you to 3 nights
 without your favourite blanket.'

'Basket of Mischeif'
'It was him'
'Wasn't. It was her.'
'Wasn't. It was him.'
'Wasn't. It was so her.'
'Wasn't. It was so him.'
'God this straw is itchy. We must learn to wee outside and not
in our bed.'

 'Pals'
'I say old chap I'm knackered.'
'Rather. Me too old bean.'
'Lets just pretend we can't hear them calling.'
'La la la can't hear you'.

What do you have on your calender?